Conversations With Myself

Hey there Shan Babe! How’s it going!?

Oh you know, just the usual…

I can’t stop listening to Lady Gaga.

You’re such a gay man… 

All my gay friends are AMAZING.

And super hot! 

Ughhh I wanna be super hot.

You ARE super hot! 

Yeah, but I’m also kind of crazy.

People like crazy…

Just put on your skinny jeans, a hipster sweater and a knit cap. 

Don’t forget the combat boots.

Where are my fucking keys!?!

Did I leave my straightener on?

Look in the mirror one last time.

Adjust the red lipstick.

Stand back and do one last look. 

Why can’t I be 10 pounds thinner?

Ughh why can’t I be 20 pounds thinner?

Nevermind… I want chocolate.

Ugh, I feel fat after that chocolate.

I need coffee

Okay, what am I doing today?

What am I doing with my life???

You’re being a ROCKSTAR, that’s what. 

Yeah but I’m just a background actor.

So what!? You are about to get your SAG card, AND record your second album. 

What if no one likes my second album?

Where am I getting the money for all this?

I don’t want to be poor anymore.

Someday you’re going to make a fucking ASS-LOAD of money. 

YEAH! It’s gonna be fucking sweet!

YEAH! And you’re going to have a hot fucking boyfriend.

Speaking of boyfriends… I haven’t gone on a date… in like two years.

That sucks. 

I’m the queen of attracting creepy men.

Dating in New York sucks. 

Dating sucks.

Never mind… I LOVE being single. 

Oooooo that boy is cute.

He might be gay… we’re in Hell’s Kitchen. 

Oh well… maybe he’ll be a new friend!

That reminds me, what gay club am I drinking at tonight?

Industry? Therapy? Barrage? Fairy Tail?

You’re never going to meet a straight guy at a gay bar.

So what, I’ll get to dance and be fabulous.

Straight bars are full of douche bags. 

Yeah… but what if ONE time, there is a nice guy?

Ooooo maybe. 


Maybe I’ll stay in and write songs. 

That sounds like fun!

I want to gig more. 

Yeah… but we ALL know that every time you gig, you think 100 people are coming and 10 show up.

You’re right, but maybe I can get more people this time!

Ok… let’s try to book another show.

I miss my old band. 

Too bad your ex was the drummer.

Yeah… never doing THAT again. 

Don’t shit where you eat, Shan Babe.

Good advice. 

Does this mean I can’t have set crushes anymore?

No, just don’t take anyone from set out for drinks. 

But it’s so FUN.

Ok… you’re just going to do whatever you want. 

I’m a sucker for romance…

Or maybe just “fake love.” 

Yeah… love doesn’t happen in NYC.

But MAYBE it does!?!

Who cares.

Where’s my whiskey?

Oh Shan Babe…

Stop thinking.

Not possible. 

Fair enough.

Goodnight Shan Babe. 

Goodnight, Shan Babe.