Hello friends and readers,
It is not yet time for me to share my Shallenge with you this week. That will come Tuesday, July 28th.
But I felt there was something I needed to address today.
Men, boys, (friends, Romans, countrymen!) LEND ME YOUR EARS.
Just because you hide behind your iPhone, your computer, your iPad, does NOT give you a hall pass to marginalize women to nothing more than tits and ass with faces.
Last night I received a text from someone (at 12:21 am) whom I’ve deleted from my phone on several occasions. We went on one single, solitary, mediocre date a year and 1/2 ago. I really liked him, but quickly found out he was no looking to date anyone, let alone treat me with even a sliver of the respect that I deserve as a human being. I quickly phased him out, and yet he has managed to come out of the woodworks about every six months, texting me and telling me that he “misses me” and “wants to get to know me better.”
I try to see the best in everyone, so the first time, I acquiesced to haphazard apology.
So last night, in the midst of working a 12 hour overnight shoot where I was dressed in 80s attire, with shoes a size too small, and a gorilla mask that kept me from breathing during takes, I was in no mood for shenanigans.
The text when something like this,
Him: Hi Shannon
Me: Hi. I’m sorry. Can you remind me who this is again?
(I honestly had no idea. I’ve deleted several numbers with that particular area code over the three years of living here. Yes, there really are that many douchebags I’ve been lucky enough to encounter and exchange numbers)
**He then gave me several hints, which lead me to believe it was this one, particular former fling.
Me: Oh. Hi ****
Him: Ha ha ha
**After another 20 minutes of me not responding
Him: What’s up
I said something nonchalant about working, never asking him how he was. (Half of me didn’t give a shit, and half of me wanted him to feel like I had all the power… because I did.)
Him: Interesting when ya out? Any interest in a night cap?
(Now please note that it is now 12:53 am, I’ve just made it clear that I’m at work, and this motherfucker is still asking me to come over.)
I got pulled to set for literally another 2 hours and did not look at my phone. I came back to holding to see this text that was sent at 1:23 am, a whole 30 minutes after he asked me over.
Him: (again, it’s 1:23 am) That’s a no
So at this point, it’s 3 am. I’m exhausted. I’m hungry. My thoughts are solely on how good it will feel when my head will eventually hit my pillow.
Glancing at my phone, I felt a rush of fury run through me. What the fuck does this person want from me?! I have not seen or spoken to him since 2014. Literally the last time I saw his face was probably October of last year. It’s not like we’ve even had any kind of casual texting here or there. No, literally (and I mean literally in the literal sense. None of this figurative nonsense…) I haven’t spoken to him in nine months.
I could have said a lot of things, but I took a breath and wrote this,
Me: Sorry. Still at work. And not really interested in being anyone’s booty call.
I knew he was probably sleeping. That text was sent at 3:04 am, and I’m almost positive he was drunk when he initially texted me, but I didn’t care. I could have ignored him, but that would just open the door for him to try and text me on some other night when he felt sad and lonely.
I expected to at least receive a text this morning from him saying, “I’m sorry for getting drunk and texting you,” or “I’m sorry, that wasn’t meant to be a booty call,” (which would be a total lie, but at least it would include an apology.)
Alas, I received nothing. No apology. No explanation.
Typical Millennial, New York, boy. You would think at 28 years old, someone would learn to grow up and be a man.
Now, I’m sorry to sound so bitter, but this interaction really bummed me out last night. I gave this guy second, third and fourth chances when he asked for them, and I finally had to cut him out of my life, and I was completely fine with that. I have no respect for someone who gives me zero respect in return.
What bothers me the most is that he probably has no remorse for contacting me, and doesn’t even care. It makes me sad for him, that he is so out of touch with the emotions that make him human, and that he will (and is probably currently) making women feel like they are worthless because ironically, he is the one who feel inadequate and worthless. It also bums me out that this is just one instance, of many that I’ve dealt with since I moved to New York. I keep thinking each year that as I get older it will change, people will change, dating will change.
It makes me sad. It bums me out. Things like this chip away at all the optimism I have in men, in my generation, in people.
I’m bummed. 😦
And to quote my girl, P!nk,
“I’m not here for your entertainment
You don’t really wanna mess with me toinght
Just stop and take a second
I was fine until you walked into my life
And you know it’s over, before it began
Keep you drink just gimme the money
It’s just you and your hand tonight.”
Sad Shan 😦