Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!
Or as I like to call it: Singles Awareness Day.
Now for those of you who are celebrating with your significant others, have fun with your boos.
I will be drinking.
So this particular post, stemmed from a Facebook post I had earlier this month.
It looked like this.
And being that it is Valentine’s Day (Singles Awareness Day), what better way to celebrate than by making a list of things I would rather be in a romantic relationship with, other than an actual human being.
As I stated earlier, I LOVE my makeup. Getting ready for set every day consists of me putting on my “full face,” as does going out at night. I love that I can dress my face to fit my personality. I LOVE when I get a compliment about my makeup. I’m always learning new tricks and exploring new products.
And the beauty is, I choose when and where I wear my makeup. I choose how much I want to put on, and I decide how beautiful I look in it.
Sometimes, it even covers up little imperfections that happen from time to time. And gives me just that little extra oomph I need.
I wear the makeup, it does not wear me.
And makeup just makes me feel:
And when I wear it, I can transform into a Queen.
And walk around saying,
I love food.
(Except maybe mayonnaise.)
I could literally talk about food all damn day. I feel like I have an emotional connection to my food. I can give you several descriptive adjectives about the goat cheese, bison burger I ate the other day. If you really want to hear them all, please message me.
In fact, I think I had an out-of-body experience when I ate a piece of chocolate cake on set the other day.
I mean seriously… I was going like this:
In the past six months I’ve actually become a much healthier eater than I used to be. However, that does not mean I compromise my tastebuds. It also does not mean I deprive myself into starvation. I just simply cannot. I’ve learned how to make healthy choices and still indulge on foods that might not always be the best choices. Because life is all about give and take.
Everything in moderation, as they say.
So, while you’re over there sipping on your lemon water, I’ll be over here.
And yet, food is complicated, because sometimes unhealthy food is like the bad ex-boyfriend I keep going back to. Occasionally, I’ll lose my mind and go crazy with portion control.
And I’ll pick myself apart…
And then I’ll get sad because I’m not a size 0, and I’m an actress…
But then I just remember my spirit animal, JLaw:
And then I’ll just go back to eating and being happy. Because unlike a boyfriend, food will always be there for me. And even though we might go through some rough patches, food and I will always make up.
3. Teddy Bears/Pillows/Anything Fluffy
I don’t care how stupid you might think I am for this next one.
I really don’t.
Even if you think I look like this:
Because I believe I watched Marky Mark (arguably one of the hottest men in Hollywood,) fall in love with a Teddy Bear named Ted and you all loved him too!
And because this:
I mean seriously people… I’m done defending myself.
Sometimes when shit gets bad, I just want to hug someone. And if someone isn’t around, the closest fluffy thing will do… especially if it’s cute AND fluffy AND has a smile on it’s face.
It also doesn’t judge me.
SO DON’T JUDGE ME, MONKEY!
And when I’ve gotten my hug and my cuddle then I go back to being like:
This category is great because there are so many varieties! And just like men, I can try them all out!
Ron Swanson knows best:
So first, I have wine. Wine is the smart, yet pretentious, man who can sometimes be aloof, but at the same time makes me feel good. I like to chill with wine. Wine makes me want to get a little romantic, maybe be a little bit of a sap, and listen to Coltrane.
But sometimes wine is too boring, and I want more adventure…
So I move to vodka. Vodka is fun! Spunky! The life of the party! Who wants another shot??? VODKA DOES!
But sometimes vodka is just a little TOO much, and I think I might need something more down to Earth.
So I move on to beer: the cute, cuddly, bearded hipster that makes me laugh. Beer doesn’t judge. Beer is up for a good time, but is just a little bit tamer than crazy ol’ vodka.
And it was THE GREATEST BEER IN ALL THE WORLD.
Until I realize that beer never left college, and he’s still reliving his glory days as the beer pong champion of his University.
So I decide, maybe it’s time to take a walk on the wild side and try…
Aaaaaaaaand moving on.
So at this point, I’m finally done. I just want to find that PERFECT drink. That alcohol that gives me everything I ever wanted.
And then, I suddenly remember…. He’s been there ALL ALONG and I was just to blind to notice.
And I might even graduate to his older, wiser brother, scotch.
And yet there is no shame in going back and forth between alcohols, because they all have their strengths and weaknesses, just like we do. And alcohol does not care how callous we are with it’s feelings.
And at the end of the night, alcohol will make me feel like a million bucks!
Plus… come on. If I were drunk, would I be able to do THIS?!
Which leads me to:
Music and dancing is something I can be completely and utterly shameless about. Music is never there to judge me, and no one can pull me out of my dancing shoes if they tried their damnedest.
There is nothing better than being in a bad mood, and putting on my favorite record.
And every time I hear a song that I love, my face is usually something like this:
And then I’ll start getting excited.
I’ll usually want to sing along, or start dancing. And since I’m a musician… I usually do just that.
Sometimes the dancing is a bit abstract.
Sometimes the dancing is fun-loving.
Sometimes it’s suggestive.
Or I’ll start tumbling.
I’ll even throw in some DIVA
And then there are certain songs.
The songs that just make me happy to be alive.
The songs that can move my SOUL. They can be pop, rock, r&b, blues, jazz, folk, alternative… just as long as THEY GIVE ME LIFE, I will indeed, start a crazy dance party.
Then it’s OVER…
NOW GET TO WORK BITCH!
Cause guess why??
Happy Valentine’s Day to all you lovers with lovers out there.
Happy Singles Awareness Day to all you lovers, who, like me, love things…
I love you.
Shannon Rose Allen