I am a fun person.
I like to have fun.
ESPECIALLY when I’m on set.
My goal whenever I work a job is to walk away with AT LEAST two friends.
And I usually end up with five to ten…
I am so friendly and excited to be doing what I’m doing, that I’m the girl you WANT to hang out with on a 12+ hour day.
But DO NOT think you can take advantage of my niceness with your negativity, bitchiness and complaining.
Home girl don’t PLAY like that.
Ain’t nobody got TIME for that. Especially me.
I used to bite my tongue when people got nasty with me. I used to avoid confrontation, and just put my head down and lay low. Sometimes when people were nasty to me, I assumed it was just me, and that it was MY fault.
But no. There is NO excuse for being mean when there are NO grounds for it.
Example A: The Middle-Aged Woman who Acted like a Child
I recently did commercial shoot where I was filming a night scene in Staten Island. It was FREEZING cold, and we were getting “rained” on by a machine. We were ALL miserable, but some of us, like myself, were trying to make the best of it.
The PAs came around with ponchos when the rain machine was going to get particularly bad. One PA threw a poncho DIRECTLY to ME. No one else… just me. And some SAG bitch literally reaches behind her seat on the bleachers and RIPS IT OUT OF MY HAND.
I’m talking I had a GRIP on it. And she RIPPED it from me.
Now this woman is about 35-40. A GROWN-ASS WOMAN.
She NEVER shuts up on set. I’ve worked a few things with her. She struts around like she’s something special because she’s in the union and thinks she’s hot shit.
So I looked he STRAIGHT in the eye and said, “OR you could just rip that out of my hand.”
And she acted like she didn’t hear me.
Then when I turned my head to continue my conversation with the incredibly sweet woman sitting next to me, she apparently looked at me and stuck out her tongue.
At least say you’re sorry. AT LEAST be honest about your selfishness.
Every other shoot I’ve been on with her, she avoids me.
BE NICE OR LEAVE
Example B: The 20-something Princess
I was on a tv show talking to my good friend who I’ve been on a few sets with. Both of us were talking about trying to get union status, and different ways we could further our career.
UNSOLICITED, all the sudden this girl who couldn’t have been more than 25, starts blabbing about how “SAG let’s anybody in nowadays.”
First of all… you are NOT old enough to be saying things like “nowadays.”
I was so taken aback by this girl who just THOUGHT she could come up to me and my friend and complain about how WE shouldn’t be able to join the union.
So I looked at her and politely said, “Well we are ALL trying to be actors here. What makes you think that we don’t deserve to be in the union, just like you?”
She then started fumbling her words and walked away.
Thank you, ma’am for your opinions, but please keep them to yourself. And DON’T tell me that I don’t take my acting career seriously and that I’m just wanting to join the union for the better pay. YES, that will be nice, but I’m ALSO trying to start my career, AS you were when you joined SAG.
BE NICE OR LEAVE.
Example C: The Mean Queen
Another commercial shoot I did lasted WAYYYYYY longer than expected and we all started to get stir-crazy at the 10 hour mark.
I made friends with 5 or 6 people and we started calling ourselves the “Dream Team” because we kept everyone in good spirits with singing and laughing and joking. We weren’t TRYING to be Mariah or Whitney. We were having fun.
There was a group of three people a little ways away from us who were singing in 3-part harmony and wanted NOTHING to do with our silliness.
And that was fine.
They were doing their own thing.
But then this guy in front of me turns around and asks, “What are they singing?”
To which I replied, (with no attitude whatsoever, just simply answering him,) “Oh, I’m not sure.”
Then he says under his breath, “Well they sound better than you.”
EXCUSE ME QUEEN????
So I said the following, “EW! You are MEAN. We are doing NOTHING but having a good time and spreading love over here and we have NO time for hate. You can turn around with your mean self and not talk to us anymore.”
Then he said something about how he wasn’t mean.
And I said, “Yes. You’re mean. You insulted me and my friends under your breath and we want nothing to do with you. Bye.”
The rest of the night he kept trying to join in on our fun and we wouldn’t allow it.
BE NICE OR LEAVE.
Now some of you might be saying to yourselves, “Shan, I though you said you were the nice person on set??? Because it sure doesn’t sound like it.”
And I AM.
But I REFUSE to let people get away with being mean to others right in front of my face without addressing it.
I apologize for jumping on a small soap box here, but social media has made it so easy for everyone to be mean and not think about anything but their own feelings. People blindly post flames and negative feedback on the Internet without even thinking twice.
I will not allow it.
Not in my house.
Not in my work space.
The acting industry is already full of enough bullshit without your dumb attitude.
BE NICE OR LEAVE.
I’m always giving out lots of love, but I will not share my love with those who creative negativity.