I Don’t Wanna Be Like Them

With their pristine voices.

Their hair that’s never out of place.

Their robotic stage performance.

Their manufactured vocal licks

Their size 0 bodies, tiny asses and big tits.

I want to be WEIRD

I want to be UNIQUE

I want to be remembered for who I sound like… not how someone else wants me to sound.

I can’t tell you enough how hurt I was when the quality of my voice was called out this week.

My voice is EVERYTHING to me. It’s my life, my passion, my CAREER. For someone to belittle that and tell me that my voice is strange, and I “change it up” (which I’m assuming meant that I change my vocal tone based on parts of the song), and that I’m “pitchy” (which is a word I think is overused as well as misused in the performance industry) REALLY affected me this week.

So I’ve decided to make a list of all my favorite female singers who are STRANGE and WEIRD and UNCONVENTIONAL, and may not have the “perfect” or “cookie-cutter” voices. I LOVE and RESPECT these women because they find beauty in flaws. They can take something that one person may find “ugly” and make it pretty.

They are the game-changers, the trend-setters, the I-don’t-give-a-fuck-what-you-think dreamers.

Janis Joplin, Lady Gaga, Linda Perry, Adele, Bjork, Macy Gray, Santogold, Kate Nash, Ingrid Michaelson, Tori Amos, Amy Winehouse, Corrine Bailey Rae, Imogen Heap, Joss Stone, Cyndi Lauper, Gwen Stefani, Alanis Morissette, Tina Turner, Grace Potter, India Arie, THE LIST COULD GO ON FOREVER! And I encourage you to think of your own examples!

Don’t even get me started on the men (and I will only name a few):

David Bowie, Eddie Vedder, Dave (fucking) Grohl (you ALL know my feelings on him!)

Did you know that when The Beatles started, record executives thought that Paul McCartney’s voice was bad?


And guess what??? I will NEVER be any of these singers.

Because I can only be me.

I don’t think I’ve ever had someone come up to me and say that I remind them of someone after singing. Sure, there’s sometimes a combination of artists that get thrown out there for reference, but in general, I’m my own singer.

I like that.

I REVEL in it.

I write smoky, bluesy, angry, sad, happy, EMOTIONAL, attitude-filled, rock-and-rollsy, funky music.

My voice is what it is.

But what it is, is NOT bad.

That ain’t me.

And on that note: Here is a new-ish song that I actually wrote about a year ago, but I’ve never released anywhere until now.

This is a live version I did at the Bowery Electric.

Enjoy… my “bad” voice.


Shan Rocker Baby


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