Today, I got my eyes dilated. And other tales…

So I was blind pretty much the entire day.

Actually I’ve been partially blind for the past few weeks.

Yes.

I know.

Really??? Another medical problem that Shan has acclaimed???

It’s not too surprising.

If you need a refresher on my abismal medical history, please read this blog post I wrote about being picked up from the “used baby lot.” https://shannonallenmusic.wordpress.com/2012/05/25/my-parents-picked-me-up-from-the-used-baby-lot-half-price/

So I’ve been getting this weird blind-ish spot in my left eye sometimes when I read. Basically leading me to spend 3 hours in the ER a few weeks ago and then 5 hours the next morning getting tests done to make sure that I’m ACTUALLY not going blind.

Today was my follow-up appointment. At 7 FUCKING 45 in the morning.

Three hours later the doctors reported that, STILL, nothing was wrong.

Then they referred me to a neurologist.

Fantastic.

So my eyes are severely dilated, I’m extremely tired of getting up early and then sitting in a waiting room, and I now have to get to work.

I can’t see a damn thing.

Then I think to myself, “Oh shit Shan! You need to drop your laundry off before you go to the wedding this weekend!”

Aaaaaaaand it was pouring in Washington Heights. Actually… It was raining sideways.

Image

Picture this: Shan with her GIGANTIC, purple Puma bag (As Jackie likes to call it: Big Purple), two enormous loads of laundry, a shitty umbrella, and my dorky green work shirt.

In two minutes, my pants were soaked up to my upper thigh.

So what did I do??? I jumped in a fucking cab and made him take me two blocks north to the place I drop my laundry off.

On a side note: No. I do not do my own laundry. Go ahead and judge me, but when a place will wash, dry and fold your shit for a dollar a pound and you don’t have to sit in a laundromat or save up a bunch of fucking quarters, YOU tell me which one you would choose.

I thought so.

Anyway… I jump into the cab and the guy starts yelling at me because I didn’t put my bags in the trunk.

(This is where I get all “New York Shan” on this guy’s ass)

“OH I’M SORRY MR. CAB DRIVER… THERE IS A BIG FUCKING PUDDLE IN FRONT OF YOUR TRUNK AND I’M ALREADY SOAKED. THANKS!

He was not pleased.

Whatever.

So I get there and both my bags are soaked, making them even heavier. Oh yeah… and my umbrella is broken in half. I don’t even know how that happens?!

I sulk of to work, in a TERRIBLE mood… still not able to see a DAMN thing.

Mind you, I work at a place where it is pretty imperative that I be able to read fine print. Everyone at the store told me I looked like a vampire… which I guess is pretty bad ass.

I’ll take it.

They put me back in shipping and receiving so I wouldn’t scare people…

Which by the way… the men in shipping and receiving at my work are incredibly hilarious and crass… so I fit right in.

The day progressively got better and then I got home to a very nice email for an opportunity that miss Raven Mamma J hooked up for me. 🙂

The moral of this tale?

I don’t know…

Maybe it takes going through a shitty day of being wet/blind to realize how lucky you are when you are warm/not blind in your New York City apartment reading an email that could determine your future.

(Love you Jackie!)

xoxo

Shan Baby

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