It’s Times Like These we Learn to Love Again

It really is.

Someone up there likes me.

A lot.

I mentioned it in my last blog post, as the news was still fresh… but I was supposed to be IN that white building. You can see if from the horrific videos.

Everything is still fresh.

I took a lot of time on my bus ride home to think about what would have happened if this happened a year ago.  I would have been walking on Boylston street, taping the runners with my iPhone, without a care in the world.

The fact that “something” kept me away from that exact site this year, chills me.

One of those victims could have been me. Or Jackie. Or Angelo. Or Michaelangelo. Or Alex. Or Ed Ricco. Or any number of my Boston friends and family.

I feel guilty. Almost like I cheated something terrible.

I cannot stress enough how much of a last minute decision it was NOT to go in to the marathon.

All I can do is be thankful. And try to help out those who need it most right now.

I am now back and safe in New York.

I have a lot of mixed feelings about being back here. Yes… I feel safer, but I left my Boston family there.

Hell… Boylston street was my STOMPING ground when I lived in Boston. My best memories are of the Bookstore.. Cafe 939… Pour House… Berklee classes… going to Wallgreens at 3 am to get Hot Pockets with Christina… parties at the Gloucester apartment.

EVERYTHING happened on Boylston Street.

And the memories don’t stop there:

The Red Sox fans parking miles away and walking down Boylston to Fenway Park.

Tourists stopping to take pictures in front of the Pru.

Berklee street buskers trying to make an honest buck playing on the street.

My first week living in the city (August 2009) walking the entire stretch of Boylston and then continuing until I hit Long Warf Harbor, where I used to sit and watch the planes land.

Ed and I walking down Boylston to the commons with nothing but an acoustic guitar and a good song.

Showing my friends The Mandarin Oriental, where it is said that Manny Ramirez used to leave million dollar checks in the back seat of his car when he got it parked.

Having drinks at the Top of The Hub because we thought we could afford the drinks.

Christina and I dressing up and drinking fancy martinis at the Lennox Hotel.

I feel like that’s all been ripped away from me now.

All I can think about is the image of the blood-stained streets.

I want to move past this… and I know I will. It’s just all so fresh now.

However, I’ve watched all the pictures being posted of people rallying together and it’s truly beautiful. Everyone is just loving.

Because lord knows we can use some more love.

There is always room for more love in this world.

And with that, I’m going to make a statement: I am going to love more.

I’m going to love others a little more.

I’m going to love myself a little more.

As horrific and sad as these past few days have been, I feel like I really hit a turning point.

And I’m ready to face it with optimism, and let go of everything that doesn’t serve my well being.

Here is a link to buy a “Boston Strong” tee where proceeds will go to the victims: http://inktothepeople.com/marketplace/ink-detail/3731

And here is the brilliant, Stephen Colbert:

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/425527/april-16-2013/intro—4-16-13?xrs=share_copy

And in the profound words of Dave Grohl (who I love dearly)

“It’s times like these we learn to live again/It’s times like these you give and give again/It’s times like these you learn to love again/It’s times like these time and time again.”

Image

xoxo

Shan Babe

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