What A Difference a Year Makes

I love Boston.

I really do.

Boston is where I really got the chance to grow up.

Become a performer.

Learn how to love.

And learn how to deal with loss. A LOT of loss.

A year ago… I was basically running out of this city to get away from a lot of pain.

You can probably look at the archives of my blog at this time a year ago and it was NOT pretty.

Here’s an excerpt from 4/6/12: “Love: you are my mistake.  It is a mistake to think I ever have or ever  will find you.  I’m looking for a partner in crime who’s in for the roller coaster that is my Crazy Lady Business.”

Jesus… I was in shambly. That entire post was basically about how I’m “un-datable”

Anyway… I digress.

Every time I’ve been back to Boston since I left, I always have this tiny part of my heart that aches a little bit.

And that hurt became less and less each time I visited Boston.

But now… it’s gone.

I’m free.


Now I’m back in Boston and I remember WHY I love this city so much.

There is no longer anything overshadowing my time with friends and people who are like a second family to me.

I can just…. be.

Tonight I’m going back to the venue that I worked at while I was at Berklee… and I’m beyond exciting. Working at Cafe 939 yielded some of the best experiences of my life. I got to meet AMAZING bands (bands like The Lumineers… No big deal…) and more importantly, meet people that truly changed my life.

I met my surrogate mother, mentor, life coach, future manager (right Jackie???).

I met my current roommate (SHUT UP ALEX).

Some of my favorite nights in the entire three years I lived in Boston, were working the door/green room at the venue… hanging out with the box office workers/security guards/other talent buyers.  I was constantly around live music. Constantly around this sort of crazy “family” that was completely dysfunctional… but they were MY dysfunctional family.

Tonight I’m also hanging out with my HEART AND SOUL: my guitar player Ed.

God… I don’t know what I would do without him.

Essentially Ed has contributed to every single piece of music I’ve ever written or performed.

He was my first friend at Berklee. I met him while working at the bookstore and I can remember Facebook chatting him back in 2009, and saying… “Hey! You wanna come over and play Beatles music with me??”

The rest is history.

You can listen to Ed on EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY TUNES… or you can check out his SoundCloud:

God… Boston defines such a HUGE part of my life.

My only wish this weekend is that Christina could be here. Then it would truly be a PERFECT trip. But alas… she’s out in LA being a rockstar. 🙂

I would say that Jennifer being here as well would make it perfect… but that bitch is waiting for me in NY when I get back. She really is my “Thing Two” to my “Thing One.” What a tit. 🙂

Again… I digress.

New York will always have my heart, but Boston is where it all began.

I’m going to soak it all in this weekend.

And then get drunk and watch the marathon on Monday.



Shan Halen

P.S. (I’m going to plug my cause right here) If you would like to donate to my cause… just look at the widget at the top right of the page. 🙂


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