Lord knows mine don’t!
To quote Sir Mix-A-Lot: “You can do side bends or sit ups, but please don’t lose that butt.”
Don’t worry Sir, I won’t. This butt isn’t going anywhere.
However, I’m starting a diet on Sunday.
I’ve struggled with this for a while now because I really don’t believe in dieting… AT ALL.
I’ve always believed that I should be able to eat what I want, when I want to, every day.
Well, guess what, I can’t.
Because guess why? I have a little tiny “Time Travel Suit” that hugs my waist and hips that hits above my mid thigh.
Aaaaaaaand I wear it every Saturday.
If I’m going to get serious about being a performer, it is JUST going to be a reality that I’m going to need to be in tip-top shape, all the time.
The problem is, I’ve always had an issue with not only food, but the fact that I’ve always been on the thick side.
So what exactly are my options?
A) Work out like crazy (which I’ve been doing, but doesn’t matter if I’m still consuming more calories than burning).
B) Find a diet that gives me structure and sets me up for a healthier life.
So I’ve decided to try Dr. Ian Smith’s SHRED Diet.
I know, I know, a FAD diet you ask? Sounds lame.
That’s what I thought too until I actually looked through the book.
When I first saw it, all I could think about was the Shredder from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:
But alas, The Shredder is not involved in the SHRED Diet.
But I’m not complaining, because Dr. Ian Smith is one SEXY mother fucker!
Honestly, none of the information in the book is anything new: eat less calories, smaller meals, eat 5 times a day, work out, blah blah blah blah…
But the reason I like this method is because it is basically 6 weeks of STRUCTURE.
He gives you EXACT meal plans for 6 weeks straight.
I need that discipline. Or else I’m just going to sit around and eat cheese and ice cream.
You may think I’m kidding, but if I had my way I would literally just eat cheese and ice cream.
I started to get nervous when the guy at the bodega on the corner started referring to me as “Ice Cream Girl.”
This diet for me is not JUST about shedding the pounds.
Yes, I would love to be skinny.
BUT, I also want to set myself up for a healthy lifestyle.
I’ve been doing my research on anti-cancer foods and methods, and I think that starting this healthier lifestyle can only HELP me stay cancer free.
Speaking of cancer, I had my follow-up appointment with my doctor today and it looks like they got all the pre-cancerous cells!
I’ve decided that from here on out, I’m approaching life from a new lens.
I picked myself up after that SHITTY audition last Tuesday and had an AMAZING audition on Friday.
I’ve decided to follow this diet.
I’ve decided that I’m not going to let a cancer scare, or audition rejection, or the need to lose a few extra pounds make me sit around and cry.
I’m going to get up and DO something.
And this is one of those steps.
I’ll probably be a bitch some days because I know I don’t like constricting anything about my food intake. Goodbye cheese, ice cream, bread, Chinese food, bagels, etc… I promise I’ll be back eventually! Just not here for the next 6 weeks!
I’m also going to need some motivation: so y’all better be encouraging!! 😉
So before I leave, I would like to give a shout out to all the thick girls of the world. Lord knows even if I DO end up losing a lot of weight, I will still never be without my hips, ass and thighs. Those aren’t going anywhere.
“Little in the middle/but she got much BACK.”