I’ve been in tech week for all of TWO days and I already know…
THIS IS EXACTLY WHERE I NEED TO BE.
I cannot BEGIN to explain how absolutely in my element I feel as a performer.
All the sudden, I feel like I’m more alive than I’ve been in MONTHS. (I know… I sound SO lame. Ashley… I know you are laughing at me right now!)
It’s so strange… because if I think about it… I’ve always wanted to be a performer, since basically age 6 when I sang Whitney Houston’s Greatest Love of All at our Black History Month play in the first grade. (RJ and Oden… I KNOW you have vivid memory of this).
Over the years I held on to this dream, but I remember people asking me, “Are you sure you want to be a performer? It’s a hard path, you know…”
And my answer was always the same:
YES! YES! YES!
I knew even at a young age that I NEEDED to be on stage.
I still NEED to be on stage.
I NEED to sing!
I NEED to dance!
I NEED to act.
Then I got a little older and the dream to perform started becoming more of a reality.
I was in show choir. I took voice lessons. I was a trained dancer.
But every time a “grown up” would talk to me… I would get talked into going to a “good Ohio college” for music education, because that was the “safe” option.
When I mentioned I wanted to go to Berklee… everybody blew it off.
So… I auditioned for one of the best fucking classical music schools in the world, Cincinnati’s College Conservatory of Music.
And guess what.
I didn’t fucking get in.
So I went and did a “practical” thing. I went to college and majored in Journalism/Communication/PR and thought that I would get a nice “steady” job and keep music as a hobby.
Until I realized that I HATED my life when music and performing was not number 1.
So after three, unforgetable years at Cincinnati… I left for the Berklee College of Music.
(Cue Griff Allen FREAKING THE FUCK OUT)
And then at Berklee I (literally and figuratively) found my voice.
I started a band.
I made friends.
I joined clubs.
I wrote an album.
I started singing regularly in front of audiences and was LOVING it.
I majored in Music Business because I wanted to know EVERYTHING I could about my craft and the ins and outs of the business.
And somewhere in those three years at Berklee… I began to second guess if I should be a performer full-time. I was surrounded by all these incredible musicians and I felt like maybe I wasn’t good enough to be a singer…
So, when I moved to New York, I thought I would still perform and write music… but I would be on the business side of things.
Somewhere in between getting dumped on my ass, moving to New York, starting an internship, getting a job, going to LA for The Voice, coming back, auditioning for everything I could get my hands on…
I FOUND MY VOICE AGAIN.
Oh yeah… and I booked an Off-Broadway show. 🙂
Since I’ve been in rehearsals, I don’t just THINK, I KNOW that this is where I need to be.
No more second guessing.
THIS is what I was MADE to do.
This is who I am.
This is where I’m supposed to be.
For MANY years I’ve been unsure.
I’m here.. and this is where I’m staying.
I’m going to sing.
I’m going to dance.
I’m going to act.
I’m going to be a STAR.
A HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY GIRL
Shannon Rose Allen