My life should be a reality TV show…

My life should be a reality TV show.

For real.

I cannot even begin to describe to you how bat-shit crazy it is living in what I call, The Crazy Cave.

There are four of us roommates, and we ALL get along so well, we might as well be the same person.  Jen and I are basically gay men trapped in straight women’s bodies, so living with gay men suits us just fine.

My favorite days in New York, have probably been sitting around in the living room with 500 fans blowing (because we have no air conditioning) and watching reality television in nothing but our underwear because it’s FREAKING HOT IN THIS CITY.  Watching reality television with four crazy people, gives it a heightened level of entertainment because we ALL have commentary to  add while the shows are on.

Picture Mystery Science Theater 3000… except gay… and in underwear… and wine.  If you can’t picture this… here are some visuals



And finally…

Our favorite reality shows are the following…

Real Housewives of New York

Real Housewives of New Jersey

Mob Wives (especially BIG ANG!)

The Bachelorette (We love Jef!)

The Kardashians

Mrs. Eastwood and Company

Ru Paul’s Drag U

Dance Moms

So you Think you can Dance

And there’s more…

Here’s a show that I wish was on television… The Real Housewives of South Boston.  Google it… your life will be better. 🙂

I don’t care what people think about the fact that I watch too much crap TV. For me, it’s escapism.  Some people waste their time on drugs to escape from the troubles of their everyday lives.  I use Reality TV and wine.

Sorry I’m not sorry! 🙂

So the other day, we discussed how we would have the BEST reality television if someone decided they wanted to film us.

Highlights of this show would include:

1. Jen/Shannon/Chetan/Chad singing everything we do.  We don’t talk… we just sing.  Not even joking about this.

2.  Chetan borrowing Shannon and Jen’s clothing every night to go out.

3. Shannon falling asleep face down on the floor because she couldn’t climb into her high bed one night

4.  Jen and Shannon playing piano and singing Amy Winehouse

5. Jen and Shannon talking about poop/farts/hemorrhoids

6. Chadd listening to gospel music in the mornings and singing at the top of his lungs.

7.  All four of us DROOLING over the men’s Olympic gymnastics team

8. Dancing to the song  “Let’s have a Kiki” at every gay rooftop party we go to.

9.  Chetan waking Jen up by humping her.

10.  Cleaning the house to Lady Gaga’s full catalog.

Here are our head shots:

Meet Jen: “Sorry I’m not sorry… Bye…”

Meet Chadd: “Praise him. GUUUUURRRRRRL PLEASE!”

Meet Chetan: “Let’s have a Kiki!!!!!”  (He looks better than me and Jen when he’s a chick. No joke.)

Meet Shannon: “Guys… I gotta fart.”

Just kidding… this is what I actually look like….

The tutu is part of my regular garb 🙂

Message me with ideas for the name of this TV show!

Love, crazy bitch and her roommates

Shan Halen


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